Oh, the Wedding I've Seen

And been in...man, I was a lot bigger back when Todd and Linds got married.

Thanks to all the nostalgia going on at some of the other blogs I frequent, (Magazine Man, Nickerblog, Naiahdot) and with my sis' wedding just last weekend, I feel I should take you on a trip down memory lane regarding the weddings that I have attended/taken part in over the years. Unlike MM and Shane, I am going to give you the story in one sitting. See, I am still getting used to this writing thing. I am more of a stand-up-and-tell-the-story-using-all-the-hand-gestures-body-language-and-funny-voices-I-can kind of story teller.

I'll go chronologically for the most part. I can't guarantee I've got all the years right in my head though.

My Dad's Wedding: My parents are divorced so this is the second wedding of course. This one was quick and easy. In fact, my sis and I really could've waited in the car. City hall in front of a Justice of the Peace.
"Do you?"
"I do"
"You? Same question."
"Ditto."
"You're married."
My Dad asks, "Am I supposed to kiss her?"
"You can if you want..."
My sis, "Now what do we do?"
My new step-Mum, "Now we go to the Keg."
My sis, "Hooray!!" (she was like 5)
(incidentally, do they have the Keg in the states? It is steak restaurant. My 5-year-old sis wasn't cheering for a keg party or anything)

My Cousin's Wedding: My sis and I were in this one, too. I'll tell you more later...it's my favourite.

My Mum's Wedding: This one was a pretty normal as weddings go, but I got to participate here, too. My Mum's Dad died when I was a baby, so because he wasn't around, I walked my Mum down the aisle and "gave her away" as it were. (And all the women go "Awwwww")

My Aunt's Wedding: I played a small part in this one. I lit one of the family candles. You know, the ones where a family member from each side lights one then the bride and groom light the one candle with the two. The thing I remember about this one is that we were supposed to have the ceremony outside but it rained all morning so we had to move indoors. By the time we got the ceremony over with though, the it was sunny and we did pictures in the garden so it all worked out.

Brad and Lindsay: This was a fun wedding! The only time I ever dance is at weddings, (and apparently work Christmas parties...I really gotta stop that,) so I remember us all crowding the dance floor for such Scarborough highschool classics as Jump Around, Let Your Backbone Slide, and Funky Cold Medina. The stupid thing is, I never listen to rap music, but I can rhyme off every line to Jump Around like it was my favourite song. Another funny thing about this wedding is the picture of me sitting at a table with like 28 empty beer bottles in front of me. Now I didn't, (DID NOT) drink that much beer. My table was near the dance floor and that is where the empties all ended up.

The next few get fuzzy in order of timeline:

Rob and Laura: Another fun party that included line dancing, (sans Kef,) and cigars on the patio. All Amy seems to remember about this one is the bridesmaid dress she had to wear, (ask her about it.) And, of course there was Todd trying to pick up the best man's girlfriend.

Marty and Joy: This one was at my church. Ceremony in the aud and dinner in the gym. The most memorable thing about this one is the fact that Marty had to walk, (read: hobble) down the aisle on crutches. Why, you might ask? That was partly my fault. You see, one week before this winter wedding, we were all out tobogganing. Now, when we go tobogganing the guys usually bring the GT SnoRacers! Or just GT's as we call them. Here was the scene:
Kef: This is pretty icy, I bet you we can get going pretty fast.
Marty: I think there's a jump at the bottom, you think I can hit it?
Kef: Yeah go...I'll be right behind you!
I would've been, too, had he not hit the jump, flew 3 or 4 metres, landed, then screamed like no man should ever scream. Turns out he absolutely DESTROYED his ankle. Had to have surgery where they put in a plate and several bolts. I'm just glad it wasn't me who had to call Joy.

Sarah and Gary: This wedding ceremony was at our church, then the reception was out in Oakville. It was a low key, buffet style reception where we could just mill around and chat. There were some speeches though, and that is what I remember. Boomer, who is Sarah's sis, gets a little emotional at times and when she was giving her speech and the waterworks started, the nose also started. The next thing we hear is the loudest, wettest, SNOTTIEST sniff you have ever heard. To this day I swear she wiped her nose with the microphone.

Ok, I think I lied. It's like five to the hour and I'm thinking, "I can't wrap this up now, it's gonna have to be a TBC!!"

Part 2 tomorrow...
All for now,
Kef...