Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Another Wedding and some Crap

This past weekend my cousin Paul got married. That's him and his new wife Julie. Yes, I was at another wedding but it was a blast. I love weddings, and although this is up to...um...six or seven for this year, (considering I missed one,) I still had loads of fun. Paul is the sister of the cousin in whose wedding I experienced my most embarrassing moment. (If you click over to check, it is the faint and fall flat on my nose moment.)

It was cool of course to see the fam I don't see all that often.

Especially my crazy sister and her new husband!

I just got back from curling. Got our first win of the season tonight.

Eating pizza. Leftover from Sunday night. Do you think that two day old garlic dipping sauce is ok? It was in the fridge.

Just listened to a couple of Depeche Mode songs off the new album. (Thanks Jenn!) Definitely moved to the top of my CDs I need list.

And oh yeah! I got some crap in the mail!

Ok, I don't think it is crap, but that is what MM called it when he did his Giveaway of Crap. This is what was called a Crapload of Manga. I love Manga, a lot of the time for the almost complete randomness of the story ideas. In the picture you see the following:

1. Two books about some guys who race cars.

2. Four books about a girl that talks to giant bugs, (I love Nausicaa (I can't do an umlaut for the second A))

3. Two books about a Rabbit Samurai, (Ronin to be specific.)

4. A random book about cats.

5. My duvet cover from Ikea. Pretty stylish eh? Too bad the duvet in it is so stinkin' hot considering my apartment is always 28 Celcius, even in the winter. (Sorry, off topic.)

6. The customs slip that said I owed $2.80 in GST, (our Federal tax, man I love government,) and a $5.00 "Handling Fee."

This was a little annoying to have to pay tax on something that if originally purchased in the States would have already been taxed. The silver lining on this cloud however is the fact that they gave the books a somewhat arbitrary value of $40.00 when they opened and inspected them, instead of the over $200 face value of the eight volumes. That would have been $14.00 in redundant sales tax, which would still have not been too shabby considering Mr. M. Mann of Somewhere on the Masthead was kind enough to pay the shipping costs to me here in the Tdot from...somewhere...in the Midwest ;). And oh yeah, send me his books!

Anyway, I have some work to do now to "pay" for this wonderful stuff. (I was going to say crap, but couldn't do it because I am already enjoying it so much. Did you know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are in one of the Usagi Yojimbo books?!)

If you read the Masthead, you'll know what I'm in for. If not, stay tuned. I have already recruited Truman, Colic and DiPede, (good friends from the Tire,) to help me in this endeavour, but we may wait a little to get closer to Christmas when it means a little more. (MM let me know if this is ok or if you are looking for immediate implementation.)

This next part better be fun to make up for cutting back on the coffee.

All for now,

Friday, October 21, 2005

Update on the age thing

OK, it's starting to freak me out.

I just found out that Artlad, (the son of Magazine Man,) is getting older too. Mind you, he is turning seven. Now this shouldn't be too much of an issue except he explains to us in his blog, (yes, this nearly seven-year-old has a blog,) that his birthday is in eleven days...from October 19...which is the thirtieth.


This reminded me that Truman's birthday, even though it is her twenty sixth, is also on the thirtieth.


And guess what post on this humble little blog started this entire, creepy little encounter with the number thirty:


Apparently my subconscious has no trepidation about getting older at all. It fears the number thirty. Ok, maybe I am just a little paranoid. Or maybe just weird, yeah we'll go with weird.

Well, it's 12:30, better get to bed.

All for now,

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I am twentysomething

I have received a couple of comments about my profile excerpt which you can probably see a little to the right and up from here, (or a little right and a lot up if it is not October 19 or 20.) It seems some people (Mum) think that I am misrepresenting myself by describing myself as a "twentysomething".

I am Twenty-Eight.

There, it is out there now, but despite that, I am still twenty-"something". I'm not really sure what the big deal is. I am not clear on what my Mum meant by "misrepresenting myself" unless she thought that I was trying to pick up via a web log. Trust me, I am not blogging for dates, (though I am single and...what the?...stop it!)

There have been however, several incidents in the past couple of weeks that have drawn attention to the fact that I and the people around me are getting older:

1. My roommate turned 30. This shouldn't be a big problem for a guy right? I don't think it was. He gets teased a lot from the kids in SWAT and there was a sort of public humiliation involving the entire congregation singing Happy Birthday to him at church on Sunday, but all in all I think he came out of it ok. We went and stuffed ourselves with wings and brownies at TJ's in Brampton while watching the hockey game on the Saturday, and the Leafs won, so it was all good.

2. Truman is having a birthday soon. She is only turning 26, but I think that the move from early twenties to late twenties is sinking in. In fact there was a funny exchange surrounding this upcoming event:

[on the daily walk to Timmy's]
Truman: Oh, I love Grazzie! We shall celebrate here on my birthday.
Colic: Ok
Kef: Ok
[later, back in the office]
Colic: Ok, I'm sending the invitations for your birthday.
Truman: NO! I changed my mind. I don't want a party. No celebrating my birthday.

It's four years from now, but I am dreading her turning thirty...there will be trauma.

3. My Mum pointing out that I am getting to the end of the twentysomething phase of my life. I really don't know why she draws attention to the fact that I am getting older. If I am almost thirty, that means she is...ok I'd better not.

4. Jenn over on her blog has a countdown going to her thirtieth. Right down to the minute! I don't think she has to worry though. She still plays video games and bubble wraps her dog and calls it art. I admire the young at heart.

5. I am reading a book about a girl that turns thirty. It is a girl book, (written by a girl, about a girl, for girls to read,) and there is no sane reason that I, (a boy,) should be reading it except that I must, in order to win an argument with Colic. More on this later probably. (No, I am not telling you what book it is.)

So not only is it getting older, but it is turning or approaching thirty that seems to be in the forefront lately. Obviously a function of being this age and having a bunch of friends this age. Hopper did it a couple years back, the Roomy a couple weeks back, JWE is next, (some time in Q1 but I will not say because I always get it wrong, usually exactly one day late.)

Getting older is a fact of life that I have no control over and honestly it doesn't bother me. At least not consciously. Maybe something in my sub-conscious is screaming in terror at the approach of the big three-oh. I doubt it though. Usually I forget how old I am and have to do the math from this year to my year of birth.

Now all I have to do is forget how to do math!

All for now,

Monday, October 17, 2005

Consumes the sky


Consumes the sky

Compelled to leave

Enraged by the eviction

The Sun sets ablaze its daytime abode

Clinging to the sky

One last affectation

Bold colours as if to say

"You will remember me"

(Photo by Giggles with my camera...I was driving ;) )

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Bad Jokes Volume II

Because I know how much you all enjoyed the last round of Bad Jokes, I have decided to entertain you with (read: subject you to) some more of my incredible, yet simple, sense of humour.

This time the theme is:


Q: How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Footprints in the butter

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear them talking

Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Their Volkswagen is parked out front

Q: How do you get four elephants in a Volkswagen?
A: Two in the front, two in the back

Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill?
A: Here come the elephants

Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill with sunglasses on?

wait for it...

think you got it?

A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them

Booya! That's right! Can I get a *GROAN* from the Eastside?

Tell these to all your friends. Then, if they haven't left you for better joke telling friends, and they ask you, "Where did you get all those awful jokes?" you can tell them it was this crazy man:

Gotta go get the elephants out of the refrigerator.

All for now,

Monday, October 10, 2005

Happy Turkey Day!

I don't like turkey.

Why is turkey the official food of Thanksgiving? Being Thanksgiving up here in Canada this weekend, I had turkey twice in the last two days. Why do so many people like turkey. Maybe people don't actually like turkey at all and they just all eat it because of tradition and nobody has the guts to stand up and say, "I don't like turkey!" like me.

Maybe it's just because I don't like gravy. I don't like the idea of pouring thickened meat juice over my plate of food just to make it edible. You see, I think turkey is dry. It is just a big ol' dry chicken. An overgrown bird that you need to make moist enough to eat again by pouring liquid on it. Kinda like astronaut food.

I mean, I like the rest of Thanksgiving. I like yams and veggies and potatoes and rolls and stuffing, (and let's face it, you don't really need to stuff anything in order to get stuffing,) and pie and coffee and apple cider.

But, I think the only reason we eat turkey is because some ancestors of ours needed to be efficient with the feeding of all the people at this gathering they decided to have, so they had to kill something big. A hard working man can eat half a chicken easily, but you'd be hard pressed to find a family of four that could finish off a turkey and all the fixins in one sitting.

I say we end the years of needlessly bowing to tradition and eat what we want for Thanksgiving. Have a ham, or a roast of pork, (which is quite good stuffed incidentally.) Have a roast beef. Have a chicken. Heck, have a lasagna! Then have your pies, (apple, pumpkin, lemon meringue, plum, etc.) Then have your coffee, tea and apple cider. Then have your hours into the evening filled with comments of how full you are and how good it all was and how you could probably have just a sliver more of pie.

I am not saying you shouldn't have a feast, but eat what you want. Eat what you like. Stand up for your right to feast on your favourite at this autumn harvest holiday.

Join me in saying "I don't like turkey!" and united we can change Thanksgiving forever.

You people in the States still have time for this year.

All for now,

(p.s. I appreciate the effort of those, (one being Mum,) that made Thanksgiving dinner for me this year. I have nothing against you as you are currently bound by tradition.)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Comments? Complaints? Bad Jokes?

I came across an email correspondence between a few of my bandmates a couple days ago and something struck me as funny. Pace had sent a note about some practice or gig that we were preparing for, (probably aXis,) and she ended her note with:

"Comments? Complaints? Bad Jokes?"

Less than five minutes later, Beast had replied with this:

"Darts is a game, not a sport. I hate drivers that change lanes without signaling. Two guys walk into a bar...you'd figure the second one would see it."

It was at this point I decided I might need new friends. I reconsidered however, as who else would appreciate my sense of humour? Well, I'm sure I could find someone...

Anyway, without further ado, for your laughing, (read: groaning) enjoyment...


This week, thanks to the Neurotic One, we have a theme.

Q: What do you call a guy that lies on the front step?
A: Matt

Q: What do you call a guy that hangs on the wall?
A: Art

Q: What do you call a guy that floats in the pool all day?
A: Bob

Q: What do you call a guy in a hole?
A: Phil

Q: What do you call a guy beside a hole?
A: Doug

Q: What do you call a guy in a pile of leaves?
A: Russel

Q: What do you call an Irish guy that bounces off the walls?
A: Rick O'Shea

Q: What do you call an Irish guy that hangs around in the back yard?
A: Patty O'Lantern

And, my new favourite thanks to JWE...

Q: What do you call two guys who hang out in the window?
A: Kurt and Rod

Booya! Come on, tell me you didn't laugh at that one, (or at least shake your head in disbelief.)

Next time, Elephant Jokes!

All for now,

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

It's a bunch of teenagers...RETREAT!

We took the SWAT group away for the weekend. We went to Crief, which is south of the 401 near Guelph.

I love being a youth leader. And, it is especially easy when you have such a great group of kids. This group of teenagers are really good. They don't get into too much trouble, they listen to us when we talk to them or ask them to do something, and they let us have fun with them. It makes it so much easier when you don't get treated like you are so much older than them that they don't want to have anything to do with you. Don't get me wrong, they bring up the fact that I am almost 30, but they do it as a joke over the latest Coldplay or Metric CD. (It helps that I like a lot of the same music as them.)

I'll tell you though, as each year goes by and I get another year farther away from high school, I notice it more. I can't run around all day, then sit in from of the fire until 1am, then chat until 2:30am, then get up to cook breakfast at 7:30am and not seriously pay for it on Monday. I am hurting these first couple of days of the week.

We had campfires both nights. We played football, leaders and girls versus the guys. Our team cleaned up, but it may not have been too fair considering some of the girls play on the school flag football team. We played a "capture the flag" type game in the brush at night, leaders versus students. That was loads of fun, especially when I could hide behind a small tree in the pitch black of night then jump out at the kids when they came by me. Some of the reactions were priceless! We ate good food, (too much, too often it seemed.)

And, we spent four good chunks of time watching these Nooma videos that Rob Bell from the Mars Hill church down in the States put together, then discussing them in groups. We talked about such things as what we want and what God gives us, revenge and forgiveness, and if we really need to go to church on Sunday. I am continually amazed when working with youth at the depth of thoughts going through a teenager's mind, and the amount that I learn from them when it is supposed to be them doing the learning.

I love these guys, (and yes some of them read this and I don't care if they know it.) There is something about building into the lives of the young people in this world that just feels right. I'll keep doing this as long as I can and as long as they'll have me.

Lets just hope it doesn't kill me while I am still young...

All for now,