Monday, October 10, 2005

Happy Turkey Day!

I don't like turkey.

Why is turkey the official food of Thanksgiving? Being Thanksgiving up here in Canada this weekend, I had turkey twice in the last two days. Why do so many people like turkey. Maybe people don't actually like turkey at all and they just all eat it because of tradition and nobody has the guts to stand up and say, "I don't like turkey!" like me.

Maybe it's just because I don't like gravy. I don't like the idea of pouring thickened meat juice over my plate of food just to make it edible. You see, I think turkey is dry. It is just a big ol' dry chicken. An overgrown bird that you need to make moist enough to eat again by pouring liquid on it. Kinda like astronaut food.

I mean, I like the rest of Thanksgiving. I like yams and veggies and potatoes and rolls and stuffing, (and let's face it, you don't really need to stuff anything in order to get stuffing,) and pie and coffee and apple cider.

But, I think the only reason we eat turkey is because some ancestors of ours needed to be efficient with the feeding of all the people at this gathering they decided to have, so they had to kill something big. A hard working man can eat half a chicken easily, but you'd be hard pressed to find a family of four that could finish off a turkey and all the fixins in one sitting.

I say we end the years of needlessly bowing to tradition and eat what we want for Thanksgiving. Have a ham, or a roast of pork, (which is quite good stuffed incidentally.) Have a roast beef. Have a chicken. Heck, have a lasagna! Then have your pies, (apple, pumpkin, lemon meringue, plum, etc.) Then have your coffee, tea and apple cider. Then have your hours into the evening filled with comments of how full you are and how good it all was and how you could probably have just a sliver more of pie.

I am not saying you shouldn't have a feast, but eat what you want. Eat what you like. Stand up for your right to feast on your favourite at this autumn harvest holiday.

Join me in saying "I don't like turkey!" and united we can change Thanksgiving forever.

You people in the States still have time for this year.

All for now,

(p.s. I appreciate the effort of those, (one being Mum,) that made Thanksgiving dinner for me this year. I have nothing against you as you are currently bound by tradition.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pssst... here's a secret. Eat the dark meat then. Its juicy.

Also, there's some magical part of a turkey, somewhere near the shoulderblades that has the juiciest, most delectible (sp?), most wonderfullest meat ever (and yes, its even better with gravy!)


You Turkey.

10/11/2005 1:42 PM  
Blogger Angel said...

mmm...secret turkey piece. yum!

10/11/2005 3:02 PM  
Blogger WestsideKef said...

No derailing the cause before it leaves the station!
Turkey is dry, (dark meat is marginal,) and gravy is gross...end of story.

10/11/2005 5:30 PM  
Blogger Merujo said...

A couple of years ago, I made a Thanksgiving dinner for a visiting friend from Norway. I basted the living hell out of that bird, and I must say, it was the juiciest, most tender bird I've ever eaten. Damn. I'm drooling now.

10/14/2005 11:12 AM  

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