Thursday, September 21, 2006

Getting more creative?

No, not me. The spammers.

Like most workplaces, our email system at the Tire has a spam filter and it is usually really good. Lately however, it is being a bit more selective with what gets stopped on the way in. For instance, I regularly receive notes in my inbox with a tag after the subject line. I guess this is to make sure that the filter isn't deleting messages from friends or colleagues outside of the company but I would rather it just go ahead with the "BALETED" and let my friends complain once a month that I didn't respond to them.

Some messages now though, are starting to get through without even the tag attached. Today I got one with a "who" that was a name of a friend, even with the unusual spelling, so I opened it thinking it was from him. After the vaguely unrelated subject line of "next month" the note started like most spam messages:

Listen, time is now to purchase your health needs.

[next is a link that I wouldn't ever click, so therefore wouldn't ever re-link]
is having a end of summer sale that has sa vings over 67%. [sic]
Fast delivery. 1000's of goods, all ready 4u

[at this point, the message veered away from the sales pitch]
Seems to me the same way, said Billina, scornfully, if that beastly cat is one of them
So he set the indicator to that point and began gliding swiftly toward the southeast

So what, is this spammer trying their hand at creative writing? Normally I would just 76 it and move on, but I found it somewhat amusing so I printed it out and took it over to show Kinch. "Funny, I got one kinda like it."

[mostly same sales pitch for "discounted health needs", then:]
Jim hesitated, eyeing the beasts fearfully
Oh, if you don't want to go, began Rob, I can easily-- But I do! I do! I do! cried the little man, interrupting him

See, now I am intrigued. These two excerpts obviously go together! I want to know what happens next.
Will Jim go with Rob into the den of the beasts?
Will the cat lead Billina to the other two heroes?
Will he make it in time to help them?
What side is the cat on?

SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME MORE SPAM SO I CAN CONTINUE THE STORY!!!

Oh wait, no, don't do that, please don't do that. Maybe I'll just have to try writing more of the story myself. Although, I think Billina will become a girl in my version. (By that I mean that Billina will be a girl, not somehow become one as PART of the story.) Like I have time for this. This may be a long running project. I'll try and keep you updated.

I wonder if there is copyright infringement on the original spam text?

All for now,

Kef...

4 Comments:

Blogger Joy said...

ROTFLMBO!!!

9/22/2006 9:57 AM  
Blogger Joy said...

Ok, I have a spam-blocker program so I don't normally see the bad e-mails, but while doing my check of it today [I check it regularly to see if anything I actually want is being trapped due to not being on my whitelist yet], I decided to check a few of them for ya. Here is what was in a post with the subject line "angelic" that seems to concern the cat:

"Several squawswere making tortillas at the metates.
The tree was said tohave been planted by Coronado. The currency was bright pebblesand grains of corn.
In the mind of Sancho everything but the fact thathe was being pursued melted away.
Unwittingly, they had crossed over certain invisibleboundaries into the territory of New Spain.
He washeld imprisoned in the largest tepee as the Big Medicine of thetribe.
When it approached thecamp the Cat sat up. Yet he speculated a good deal upon their possible meeting.
He had not dared to try to enter theIndian encampment. He regarded him as an altogethermysterious and suspicious character.
The death of Sancho would make adifference.
Although he was a prisoner, he felt free and happy.
In the mind of Sancho everything but the fact thathe was being pursued melted away.
Then the flames would suddenly die down and they wouldrush on to the next clump. If I only had something to wrap about him!
Theevening before they left there was a distribution of shoes. Theevening before they left there was a distribution of shoes.
Itwas her curiosity to see what would happen that finally tipped thescales for her decision.
Although he was a prisoner, he felt free and happy.
Faith returned to the hacienda and said nothing about Anthony toDon Luis. He would never hear the Spanish buglesagain.
Don Luis got into his litter with great difficulty and was carriedhome. Noman can ever harm me again, for he cannot make me harm him."

There were a couple others of the creative-writing strain. There were other e-mails I checked, though, which had added-on crap that seemed much more random than creative...but maybe it's one of those "nonsense" poems and I'm just missing the point, like much of the stuff in the contemporary section of the AGO? I have to admit the last line tickles me somehow.

"Rise Exmayor starts prison Court Hearing: Karr Colorado Nagin tape slowing recovery Hang Dog Days Summer Britneys husband performs teen awards PHOTO Highlight youth twirls chains park downtown Sofia Bulgaria. Valentina FULL COVERAGE Mideast Conflict Terrorism JonBenet WEATHER Zip Code: ordm Extended Forecast Elsewhere ABC Decades Solitude Kurdish Women bulk Katrina evacuees Texans feel burden DAILY upgrade PC.raquo Tuesday views Dilbert editorial cartoons loud
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*shrug*

9/22/2006 10:15 AM  
Blogger WestsideKef said...

whoa!
Thanks Joy, the first one may fit in, although I have to be careful because a lot of characters are being added and I don't want too many guys in red shirts...

9/22/2006 4:57 PM  
Anonymous JM said...

Dude, I get those random, bad-creative-writing spam letters all the time. What is the purpose of them? Often, they don't have links or anything.

9/26/2006 7:19 PM  

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